Scream It Out, Loud!

Even from early this week I already feel like living in somewhat crazy factory.  Problems line-up in my inbox like no end.  I was always exhausted come home everyday after a hectic day full of conflicts,  meetings and never ending problems.  I know working in this kind of real-time service work frame is somewhat will... Continue Reading →


I Still Don’t Like Being Underestimated

Yesterday was raining hard all night. I thought Jakarta will be flooded again, but hence it is not. Today, all clear dry and hot.  The only same things is that when I call the transport office, the number of taxi available is rare 😛 The words that I hear lately is really vary.  From, You... Continue Reading →

Forgiving God II

This posting could be the most deep ever I wrote.  Forgiving is a difficult job for me.  I tend to keep everything came to my sense in a virtual file. In order. Alphabetically. And current. Means: whenever I need the facts, it will be very easy to unload. And if I don't keep it forever... Continue Reading →

Forgiving God

Christmas is near.  A year of my life is flying away. The beginning of the year feels so difficult and heavy. I can't say it in a better way. That is. My husband hospitalized early January of a Steven-Johnsson syndrome caused of allergic to sulfa-based antibiotics that the doctor thinks can cure his cough.  At... Continue Reading →


Its July.  Six months passed on year 2011.  When did last time I posted in this blog? I don't quite remember myself. Past and present are blurry mixed in my mind. Nightmares still current. I do hope for some change. A good body that not getting tired easily.  A stomach that not getting heartburn every... Continue Reading →

Dream and Real

I dreamt that I went swim.  As a repeated dream with same theme, I went swim in the lake, in the pool or in the sea.  Each time I feel the water covers my body and gave me a soothing feeling.  I googled to Freud.  Dream interpretation. It says that I might have longing to... Continue Reading →

Dear Diary

For many years in my life I wrote a diary.  I started it when I was still 14 years old.  I like to buy a nice writing book, sometimes with colors in its different pages and with a perfume scent.  Sometimes I buy those with a lock on it.   I wrote about my daily life. ... Continue Reading →

Successfully Slow

I feel so lonely.  A lonely loner. Christmas that supposedly a happy time in a year for me like a period of hell. From last Christmas to now,  each day I crawl upon my sadness to stand still and function as I should be. It is really hard and tiring. When the night fall I... Continue Reading →

Demand and Tolerance

Chat this morning with my friend. Bus from home usually arrived at the school around 6:30am in the morning, means, I still have around 45 minutes to play with my computer or chit-chat around with friends. Unfortunately somehow some people unable to understand that and when catch me play they send a complaint through my... Continue Reading →

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