Softly & Slowly

A fast-mover who successfully do her things slowly!

I Don’t Know How She Does It

I just read a book titled: I Don’t Know How She Does It by Allison Pearson. 

I agree with more than half of that book.  The story is about a Kate Reddy with two toddlers that works as a Investment Manager.  She is with many an a lot of pressure.  From her workplace, an office where men are the ruler and women is to be underestimated.  From her in-law who thinks that being a working woman is not an appropriate way of life.  From her daughter’s school parents that in competition to achieve who is the best attentive mom, who is the smartest to go to a sophisticated school.  And eventually more pressure from the nanny, from the driver, from friends and even from unknown people in the street.  

For years, I am unable to tell people my feelings but this book slicing it at once! 

I somehow hate competition when it is about whose children is the best.  I also not into a grouping of stayed-home mom and working-mom who sat in two different side of the school when pick-up the children.  I certainly feel a lot of pressure when the stay-home mom start to mention that I work too much or travel too much and /or sharply commented of me not taking care of my husband and my son.  

I know there is a lot of women who doesn’t believe in equality.  For them, they have to be the sacrificing party who provide husband and children with food, three times and more daily, each meal to each person’s favorite, to provide clean clothes and bed sheet, provide clean and tidy house by keep moving the glass to the sink, scissor to the cupboards, dirty clothes to washing machine, all day long and left them with no time and energy for themselves.  Then they feel good because they think their homes is safe and the hero. 

When they see someone like me who let my husband cook and give my teenager son a responsibility to the house, they think I am an egoistic woman.  I can’t blame them as I don’t force them to believe what I believe.  But unfortunately I got judged almost all the time. 

Some people I know still pointing their finger towards me because in their personal opinion working in an office is not an option for woman.  They’re so afraid that I will neglect my house by saying that eventually I have to learn to cook!  Cooking is not my talent, but I am sure play musical instruments is also not everybody’s talent.  My dishes are not super delicious but I can assure that it is healthy.  Less salts and no sugar.   

Enough for self defense.  Basically, I love this book!  I feel so Kate.  Kate who wants to actually dedicated all of her time for her family.  Who worked and have her salary paid most of the luxury their family enjoyed.  I knew some men who not even tell their wives of how much their income and only give kind of portion for their wives to manage.   When it comes to a woman, I know if they don’t tell their husband of their salary it is only because they don’t want the man feel discouraged.  

A story from that book that I like.  About a princess that meet a frog.  The frog jump to her lap and said: You know, I am a prince, if you kiss me, I can turn back to be one.  Then we will get married, and you will be happy to taking care of my food and my clothes and borne my children.  You will feel contented all of your life!  The princess smile and send the frog to the kitchen for frogs leg cuisine for dinner.  Big Grin.

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