Somehow I feel weird of my body. Aches and pain that I usually treat as an usual symptom of tiredness now I treat as a sign of my decreasing health status. I become aware of every little pain and every little symptom that I usually neglect. I then realize that to a point, I might feel a false symptom of a paranoia.
Before, I trust myself and my health. I, who among friends and family is kind of the strongest. Rarely got sick. Good stamina to endure long hours and night. Maintain healthy exercise habit. Able to climb the peak. Gee. When was those? Thousand years ago?
Now, I lost that confidence. I already lack of sleep for more than 4 weeks. Though currently I am trying to improve the sleeping habits seem I will still in this transition period for a longer time. Seem nothing burden me but yet my sleep haunted with nightmares.
Nightmare is something I hate.
If I can choose, I would like to have a sleep without dream. *Sigh.
Most of my dream now brought me back to the place when I was a child. Brought me back to the memories that I was a child with fear of her future. I was a child with a losing feeling that afraid to lost. In my dream I saw what myself years ago, a me that I want to forget.
A want a peace of mind.