Don’t Know What I Want

I spent these one and half weeks at home. Due to sickness but also of a stressfull and boredom I experience in office.

Here is the story. Last semester, I was involved in a  MAP test project. The first time in my school. I was the one who do all the database and monitor the walk-through day by day. I was busy.  I was complaining. Not because I don’t like the job, but, because I had a better idea how to run it efficiently and keep everything under control without losing the pace.  A lady in my department made me insane because she forced me to the edge of the work limit, asked me many unneccesarry things with label today and urgent, which actually resulted in nothing but nausea because I kept skip lunch, and she took no advise.

This semester, the test run again. But, this time I realized that most of things are done without my involvement. I even has not informed. I don’t really like the feeling of being out.  So, I keep quite but in my heart I am not happy.

So came the flu, and thyphoid and hospitalization and now exhaustement and fatique that kept me home. We decided not to hire any servant.  Of many reasons, I prefer to take care of  house chores myself. I know the risk, that I will be exhausted, yet I think that’s better than hire someone to do it and not happy with the work.

I left all my thought about the office and completely not open any of office email for the whole week. Instead of thinking of data, I spent my day with dishes, cook 3 times meals (which is quite chllenging as I am not a good cook and I easily give up to food variation), I consentrate on keep the house tidy, washing and ironing and put myself into the music more than computer. I enjoy morning walk around the complex and dance along inside the garden.

Then I asked myself? Do I feel happier? Do I feel refreshed? What I got?

Still don’t know.  It’s only one day left before I have to go back to the office, and I don’t feel any excitement.  Think about the computer, the forcing lady, the workload, already enough to make me hardly breathing.

Oh, No!


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