Envy and Inferiority

Me told my friend, bit emotional : “I don’t understand why in this world people has to be so disturbing like that!”

My friend replied, observed : “They were not disturbing, they are envy, they are inferior!”

Oh ho, let’s talk about envy and inferiority. Again.

I invited my brother and sisters and in-laws from both sides to gather in my new home for a new year and housewarming and birthday and other reason for party.  I think they will be happy for uswhen see the worthy house and the nice environment ~~well, my brother and sisters are supportive. They made nice comments~~ But one of the in-law aka my husband sister shout up her big voice: “Uh, the house is small, the room is small! It will need to develop to second storey bla bla bla.”

I started to feel anger. Then I moved out to see the crowd outside better to calm down.  I mean, owh come on!! Be real!! She always made a negative comment about me or whatever I had.  When known I was going to marry her brother, she told everyone she knew that I am kinda lazy girl who spoiled and would makes my husband suffered.  Things like that happen over and over the year. She never learnt enough that I am not her rival though I am not her friend.  Her husband which is insensitive and bit like a dictator never acted humble enough toward my husband.  I had enough of them.  She doesn’t have any music education yet she is not a good singer.  Yet she forced herself into be a church music director to replace my position.  She and her husband had never be humble. The fact that they are my husband’s sister is the only chain, because I totally not able to compromise with kind of behavior.

But is this really about envy?

Is this about inferiority?

That she and her husband were so envy of what they see in us they treated us like a garbage? That she and her husband were so inferior of what they think we us they use their time to gave us negative comments?

Why should I understand them? Because I am pity?

The question and the answer circling around like a devil’s circle.

I know some people who are inferior. Tell me the story about those friends who unwilling to attend the reunion. Why? They think they are not as pretty, as rich, as successful as their friend. They feel ashamed.  Sure I can understand their feeling. I somehow felt the same, though I can cure myself from end up give-up the reunion.  The result of their inferiority is only a feeling, they don’t curse their friend, they don’t speak bad about their successful friends, they don’t gossiping their pretty friends, they were just forget it and life goes on.

I felt envy sometimes, but it doesn’t stop me of being objectives. And being friendly.

I still disturbed, still don’t understand. Huh.


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