One By One

We are buying our house. First experience. We never think of buy one in a thought that we will be moving all around Jakarta due to assignment given.  Though Jakarta is only a city, yet the distance between one and other place is quite far with the bad road and traffic.  Before, we were thinking to move and move and move following those assignment and settle when retired. But, this year brought a new thought and in a second thought we are buying a house.

Locate near to the toll-road exit, to make our future access to be around easier.  Not so big, only 100 meter square size, tight between two other neighbours by each sides and one neighbour at the back, but advantaged by a large land functioned as a park in front of our house.  The morning and evening air brought by the plants and grass are nice.  The size and the environment are all great for us.

The matter is only the price. We don’t have enough money.  Three weeks ago we applied for a housing credit from a bank.  A week went by with an anxiety whether the bank will approve our application or not.  Then, an answer given. They are okay with a condition that they only approved as the market price of the house, not as the real price of the house. That means we have to comply with our savings to pay the difference of the price as well as other related cost.

Another one week went by with efforts. Like sold our car ~~and buy another cheaper car for our transportation~~ and got a simple loan from my brother and ~~thanks God~~ got some support  from some friend ~~that help a lot~~.  Then this week,  after we paid everything necessary for the transaction, we realize that we don’t have anything left anymore. None. Our saving is all gone!

Somehow I feel worry.  I remember ten years ago when my baby was born. With only one source of income because I choose to stay home to take care of my baby, our home is so limited.  All needs is my son.  I completely ignored my own need for one and a half year. I did cut my hair short so I won’t need to spend for hairstyle and care.  I wore those outfits from my pregnancy period no matter how stupid it looks.  I don’t buy any make up, don’t buy book and simply don’t go anywhere. I particularly don’t come to wedding because I simply would look so bad.

I could remember bit by bit I spent to recover after I came back to work.  I paid for new clothes, new hairstyle, new makeup, gym membership and get my own me again in one whole year.  Well..I did enjoy a nice life eversince and I am so worry of got to that situation again. 

But when I remember about last year, when I do think that we going to be suffered quite much after release a lot of money for my father in-law funeral. Eventually after that, we still have more than enough to go through the year, and I was able to catched my dream to backpacking around Asian countries.  When remember those moments I count God’s blessing and name them one by one to know that  in rough time never anything rough compared to ten years ago. 

So I make my hope. Do hope the same kind of God’s kindness will be on our way.  Hope.


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