Confidence

Many days, when I was still in elementary school, the teacher ordered us, the students to form groups.  To work on some science project, work on some social studies questions or others.  For me, those were a horrible time.  I was lack of initiative.  Lack of self-confidence.  Build my self confidence need more efforts than to build Monas tower, I think.  When other pupil busily call their friends or draw themself into a formed group, I just sat alone and wait until somebody ~~hopefully~~ asked me, or until the teacher then realized that I wasn’t in any group, assigned me.

Many times I ended up be a member of losers group.  Those children who very very lazy or very very stupid. Good part of it, I could show them and the teacher that I contribute best on the group’s achievements.  Hey, I was not lazy or stupid, I just don’t have the braveness to attach myself to any group.  I was so worry they will reject me or humiliate me.

One day, after I ended up in loser’s group ~~again~~, one of the best student in class approached me and said that I can join her group, if I want to.  I was so very happy.  I could tell that never in my years in that school I felt that happiness.  I say yes at once. That afternoon, we sat together in her house to work on a science projects.

Did I tell you that her group contents of 5 students? All were the top-5 ranked in the class.  They were not just smart or dilligent, their parents were also rich.  Willina, their leader, who approached me tell the background of their invitation. When three of the students there realized that I ended up in loser group, they feel pity.  But, when they made the invitation, one of the member reject their idea and she then move herself from the group.  She was not happy to accept a situation that a loser join their exclusive group.

I still don’t know what makes them pity.  I was not popular, nor smart, nor rich.  Willina and I then built our friendship closer.  She played piano, I was some years advanced than her.  After we left our elementary school, many time we visit each other, wrote letters exchanges our stories for the sake of our nice friendship.  I was so happy to have her as friend.  The day she invited me is the day I won’t never forget.  That was the very day when my self-confidence got its foundation.  

I am so happy when some weeks ago, I read in my friend’s friendster wall that she met Willina.  Willina’s children went to our same elementary school. Hope I meet her soon.  I want to thank her, my life would be different without her kind invitation. 🙂

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