Memory Wave

Last saturday night.  There were a saturday night’s youth gathering program.  The youth from our churches and some churches nearby gathered with the youth from Tangerang’s area.  The occassion held in a church in Palem Semi. 

Well, while watching them, take some pictures of them, there are two things hit my mind. 

First, indeed… I am old! Haha!

Second, the memory of the past come again like a tsunami wave and took away all excitement I might have that night.  I always hate this kindda time. 

I was like those youth.  So young and might bit naive (though naive is kind a difficult word to apply to me.. :)). Not likely they who enjoy and laugh on the games, I never had that much fun before.   I was shy (and still is…I think…though some friends will laugh at me if I rely it to them) and full of thought that I am not pretty, not attractive, not chic or whatever quality that will make man interested in a woman.   So, on that kind of youth occassion, I mostly draw myself alone.  I prefer to be under the shadow, pretend that I am not interested. 

I remember one time, the MC brought a lot of roses.  He asked every boys to pick one and give it to any girl they like. That is to me is the horror time. I felt so ugly made me afraid that nobody will ever care to give me any roses.  And that what happened!  Never I got any roses, any cards or whatever giveaway, ever ~~though I bet it was only had little relation with my look~~

I remember most of the time, to avoid kind of sick feeling and embarrasment.  I choose to left before the marching-dance time.  Never anybody asked me to dance, so I choose to run! I was too much sensitively think of myself other than just take a fun of it, think well and just choose pick any of my friend or ever a boy that I like to dance with me!

So, saturday night was not my favorite time neither any youth gathering.   

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I wish that nobody among this youth had kind of feelings like I felt.  I want to encourage them to just enjoy the time and not think to much of it  ~~yeah, that one of my weakness…think too much~~  

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