One of my life-passion is piano. I the sound, I like to play and to be behind it.
I learned to play since I was nine years old, and start to play in the church when I was twelve years old. Some other children in my church also take piano course, but then I learned that I became a better pianist compare to them. I also knew that most likely in many instances, I was an above-average pianist. Thanks to many years of practice and my great teachers!
Yet, I experienced those gloomy days, and made me think twice and upset me to move back.
One day, in a Youth Service, the person in-charge to play was absence. Consider that I myself dont like to sing without any accompaniment music instrument, I hurried myself to the piano and play. The song-leader was not looks happy at all. In matter of fact, she did look disturbed as if I did something wrong. Gee, for sometimes I felt not happy.
In another occassion, my friends asked me to play for their choir. One person there keep saying that I need to play faster, put more spirit and mentioned that the tune that I played was wrong. I didnt think I played it wrongly ~~as no falsetto heard~~ and I knew that this person was not even able to play a simple song on the piano. But still I felt unhappy.
When I was in the university, a coordinator put my name on a schedule of chuch service. Then, a person who actually had to play a week ahead of my schedule asked me to change with her. Why? Because, a week ahead is a weekend time, when the students allowed to have three days holiday and most likely used to go home. Only students that their parents live quite far, or from another island stay in the campus ~~even those kind of students take chance to visit their relatives~~ Not happy on the situation that probably nobody will hear them play, she asked me to change the schedule. I said yes. I played to serve God, not human. Yet, I felt disturbed.
I was choosen as the pianist for a choir. We did practice for few times, when suddenly somebody new came ~~they said she was an old member~~ and replace my position. The director was not even care to tell me. I felt so upset.
My husband was assigned for a small church where this great-to-herself-pianist was a member. She also the music coordinator. You know what? She almost never put my name on the schedule to play on the church service. Though, I am the one who played every wednesday night ~~when nobody assigned~~ or in evangelistic meeting ~~when nobody assigned~~, she never said even a thank you. There were few times when a singing group practice with me change their pianist to her when the performing comes. I didnt think there is something wrong in the way I played, but, still I felt unhappy.
Most recently, in the evangelistic meeting a person from other church asked me to play, together with the ansamble of angklung and violin. I did play as instructed, but then, apparently, the tunes of the piano and the angklung was not in harmony. The person then asked me ~~I can say she blame me~~ of that. In matter of fact, I think, it was not my fault. We never had any practice together. Yet, I still feel not happy about that.
But, somehow, I felt a great reward of my willingness to serve through the piano. There are many occassion where other people not even counted to play, I asked to play. There are many people who I never met, knows me of my talent. Sometimes in the past, I see a piano and think to myself when I can play it ~~a piano always tempt~~ when sometimes after then, an invitation or assignment for me take place on the venue. I did play for many person, many occassion, many services, with many people, good and bad, many singer, great or common.
Piano is still my life-passion.