Dont Marry a Batak

24 Sep 03

Ever go to Batak wedding? Yes? Good…remember my warning, just attend, dont ever think to be involved.

My brother’s weeding, Fritz, was smoothly arranged and conducted from 5 am to 12 am. That is the time since the groom and bride put their make-up and dress up to the end of photo session in the church. Everything went well ~~normal, at least~~.

Early morning, we went to Cengkareng ~~Joice’s home~~ for breakfast, and take her to the church. Normal traffic. Though some participant come in the last minute in the church, and though the sermon took quite long time, things are still considered okay. Btw, I really sick when found that the pastor’s wife ring the bells that was brought by Adrian ~~the bell ringer~~ during the sermon. Did she want to sign the preacher? Yet, that is not a polite way to do it.

Signal of problems then appeared when we reach the reception hall. Out-of-nowhere, a guy then say bad words to my sister, Lorit, just because she is about to arrange the usher’s desk. Why he has to complaint was not clear for us, but enough to made us angry. We never knew the guy, never we met him during the crazy preparation meeting or what. Why Lorit has to obey him? Sometimes, we dont understand the logic of Batak, particularly when a party going. ~~Later we assume that he was in the effort to make people believe that he was so closssse to the bride’s family or something like that~~

Then, apparently of so much attendance, the foods gone in a very short time. We ~~as the family~~ dont even get any food. Gee.

Worst of them, are:

One, the smoke of the cigarettes filled the air and add to the hot day and room.

Second, we can not even ask for a glass of aqua that been distributed around…reason: those are for guests. But, then…when we bought a carton ourselves, everybody ask for one. We ended up buy cartoons of aqua as an additional expenses to the party.

Consider that we are all hungry (and some other polite people) we would like to have the lapet ~~traditional batak cake~~ to be served first for the family. Then, one people said, that we could not do that. Other said, that she would like to reserve ~~a big amount of it~~ for dont-know-who. Other than yell that it is only belong to the bride’s family or groom’s family…men…I dont know why they think they are the most powerful people in the small kitchen. I order my family to take as much as they like and distribute as much as they like as early as they like. Then those people that I never known angry with me.

Hiras become so angry when a man took his ~~just like the robber~~ and asked him to buy cigarettes. Whatttttt??? ~~ever think to order your non-smoking-even-hate-smoke pastor to buy cigarettes?

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3 Comments

  1. its a horror story but NOT always true and happened in all Batak wedding ceremonies. for my understanding, its just so happened you had bad one and can not be considered as general things that happened in Batak wedding ceremony.

  2. My wife is Batak or a sub-ethnic called Simalungun, so I get used to be in parties. I am from east Indonesai. Lucky I did not have to go through the ethnic ceremony in my wedding. But once I got into Batak leaders in Sumatera, say, Batam, Riau, jkt as well, then socialize with them, I found out that the Batak Leaders I met talked about it very often. It is true such incident happen commonly. I like Batak custom but since this lady tells her experience, I just want to say that I just happened to sight see the views for two or more times only, and those leaders always told about it, and they said they hate the habit very much. discrimination realy happen in gatherings.
    One man : Hasibuan told me once that he always get stressed seing such thing still happening in this modern life. “She (there is lady of whealthy group) dominated the wedding party and lead to take away foods and beverage and left others unserved. He said that just after facing that again an hour earlier, then I just realize abaout the opinion right after reading the above story.
    So my point of view is this kind of story is common and does not put Batak down. It’s only impolite deed carried out by those irrespective group of people in a Batak gathering.
    Most Batak on so gathering time, deem that all participants are of the same Bataks so that they think it is usual to do everything.
    In East Indo, the party’s host never eat before the very last invitee eat . The consequence is after the party ends the host get starved.
    The problem of the abovetold story must be the venue situation, not a confortable one, so that paricipants starved so easily. And thisng get worst for those who is not familiar with gathering habit.

  3. hmmm…
    can we change that ?
    but..
    when we realize the batak “rule”…
    the quest are the king,
    we hasuhuton has to know that serving the quest is a must.
    the problem is when we attend the ceremony at the city, some times we dont know who is the quest and who the hasuhuton is..

    but dont be sad sister…
    cheers

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